Dec

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Migraine- What its Really Like

Filed Under Migraines 

Have you ever met someone who says to you ‘I have had a migraine for a week’ while they pound away at a computer listening to the radio and talking to an old friend on the phone?  Well they may have a migraine, but not my kind.  I have always said that you cannot describe a migraine to someone who has never had one.  A cold systematic list of symptoms does not convey the agony experienced by someone with a severe migraine.  If you have ever wondered what a migraine is like or wonder if you have had one read on as I will try to describe what it is like for me.  This is a true experience I had many years ago before I found prescription medications that help alleviate some of the pain:

I was twenty years old at a very happy time in my life.  Newly married and very stoked about all my new wifely duties.  I had driven the car to a car wash about three blocks from our home to clean out the interior.  As I drew the vacuum back and forth across the carpet I began to realize that I could not make out the finger nails on my fingers.  I put down the vacuum and held my hands in front of my eyes.  Like some kind of horror show I could only make out their outline which seemed to have a sort of gold edge lining.  I could see enough in my peripheral vision to function and it felt like the shadows I was seeing could be like any other visional anomaly.  I thought it would go away.  I of course thought it was strange and it occurred to me that I might be getting a migraine but since I had not had one for four years I dismissed it and carried on with my cleaning. 

As I drove home it became very obvious to me that what was happening was going to be a real problem.  I was not safe to drive but made my way home as well as I could.  I was unable to see what was directly in front of me and only able to drive straight down the road by keeping my head turned to one side utilizing my peripheral vision.  By the time I stumbled into my house I was completely blind in my right eye.  My left eye gave me enough sight to get to my room and find some Tylenol which I took knowing it would not help but it was all I had.  I laid down and waited, already crying knowing the pain would start any moment and there was nothing I could do to stop it.  It had been four years since my last migraine but I remembered with enormous fear those head pains.

The pain started behind my right eye like a pulse growing bigger and stronger every moment.  The pain is unlike any other headache.  SO many headache sufferers describe their head pain as a feeling of pressure from the outside like a band has been put around their head and is being tightened.  Migraine pain is opposite to that it is explosive.  The pain feels as though it were going to erupt on the inside and the pressure behind your eyes and at various points in your skull is incredible.  The pain is sharp and burns at the same time, and with each pulse of pain waves of nausea hit you.

I laid on my bed in the dark as the pain began.  When the pain increased my sight improved but not completely, and then the nausea began.  The agony became so intense I began delusionaly thinking that if I could punch a hole in my skull it would let the pain out and today I wonder if I had had the strength to get up if I would not have done some harm to myself.  That is the desperation of a migraine.

 

 The disconcerting partial blindness was heightened by a ringing in my ears.  I wrapped my hands around my head feeling it could contain the pain that was reaching unbearable levels.  As I laid still in the fetal position afraid even the slightest movement might bring a new wave of misery I caught a whiff of a smell that normally I enjoy.  I had put the perfume my husband had bought me on my wrists that morning.  The smell of the perfume stunned me, it instantly mad me heave. The pain in my head makes it almost impossible for me to lift it under my own power but my natural reaction to throwing up overcame the pain and I literally crawled on all four to the bathroom where I stayed for at least an hour until there was nothing left to vomit.  Throwing up when your head is at a screaming level of pain is a terrible experience all of its own, I am sure you can imagine.

The pain continued for at least four hours with the same intensity before it relented enough that I could fall asleep, exhausted by the pain.  I woke up feeling better but not enough to get out of bed or sit up.  The pain had lessened into a constant dull throb.  My eyesight had returned but is left with shadows bouncing around everywhere which makes me feel dizzy and disconcerted.  I laid in bed another two hours before, with help from my husband, I go to the living room and sit on the couch.

After suffering a migraine I usually spend at least two days moving very slowly and speaking quietly as sudden movements and loud noises cause pain reminiscent of the migraine.  My eyes will be blood shot, lights and smells are overwhelming and cause sharp pain in my eyes and temples and my appetite disappears.  Worse though than all the leftover symptoms from the migraine is the fear it leaves me with. I become afraid I will get another one almost obsessing about it.  Like a sort of short lived post traumatic stress syndrome I can become depressed, afraid to leave the house and weepy, feeling my life is out of my control.  That I am powerless to these painful events and no one can stop them, no one can help me.

Having a migraine is not an annoyance it is an event.  Every migraine is different, as different as the people who have them.  I do not quickly dismiss someone who claims to have a migraine but shows no major symptoms.  Some people will have a migraine without pain, only suffering with visual disturbances or sensitivity’s to light or smell and noise.  Still, it is difficult for me to relate to anyone who has a migraine and yet continues to function.  It does lend the question; do these people have a migraine or just a really bad headache?  Migraines are greatly misunderstood by sufferers, onlookers and doctors.  Until real answers are found, supporting each other and trying to understand the impact of these painful occurrences is one way to bring a degree of relief and it is always appreciated.  Please share your stories too.

Comments

One Response to “Migraine- What its Really Like”

  1. Mary on January 9th, 2009 8:56 pm

    Wow!! You wrote an amazing and painfully accurate account of migraines. You could have been describing what I go through all the time.

    Thank you for explaining so well the VAST difference between a migraine and a headache.

    Great Post!
    A fellow migraine sufferer

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